For a movie that tells the remarkable true story of the greatest racing horse of all time, "Secretariat" is a truly unremarkable film. This is a film that tries its best to be an inspirational crowd-pleaser in the vein of "Seabiscuit" and ends up being neither inspiring nor crowd-pleasing. In fact, it just meanders in mediocre and shameful Oscar-baiting territory from start to finish thanks in no part to a bland, cliché-ridden and tension-less script by Mike Rich and the pedestrian direction of Randall Wallace who, after directing "We Were Soldiers," "The Man In the Iron Mask" and writing "Pearl Harbor,"  sure is making a career out of turning great stories into sub-par movies. It’s too bad because somewhere in here there’s a very good movie. What it does have going for it though are a couple of beautifully done racing sequences and a very good leading performance from the always reliable Diane Lane.

The year is 1968 and Penny Chenery (Diane Lane), a rich Denver-based housewife, has just learned that her business-minded mother has passed away. Realizing that her Alzheimer’s-stricken father (Scott Glenn) is in no shape to upkeep the family’s Virginia-based Meadow Stables, Penny reluctantly decides to move to Virginia and take over the farm against the best wishes of her lawyer husband (Dylan Walsh) and economist brother (Dylan Baker), both who insist that she sell the farm. Once settled into the simple life, Penny decides to get back into the horse raising business by firing her corrupt trainer and replacing him with a talented but washed-up trainer named Lucien Laurin (John Malkovich). Laurin’s a guy who loves his sports jackets pink, his bowties purple and his hats… well let’s just say he likes his hats feathery. After some initial reluctance (read: faux-drama), Lucian decides to take on the job of training Penny’s new badge of colts into race horses. One of these colts, a feisty fellow named Big Red, later christened Secretariat, starts to show a lot of promise and soon becomes a sensation in the racing world. It all eventually leads to Penny and Lucien entering Secretariat into the prestigious Triple Crown derby of Thoroughbred Racing – success at which will enable Penny to save the farm.

This being one of those “against all odds” inspirational sports-dramas, Penny, Lucien and the rest of their team (which includes injury-prone hothead jockey Ron Turcotte (Otto Thorwarth), wise old Southern-caretaker Miss Hamm (Margo Martindale) and gospel-spouting groom Eddie Sweat (Nelsan Ellis)) naturally have to be hammered with some set-backs. And we sure get them – too bad none of these supposed set-backs are strong enough to give a rat’s ass about. The most significant issue Penny faces through the course of the film is sexism and rather than taking on that issue head-on, Wallace and Rich only elude to it via lame remarks (“Oh, she’s a housewife so her phenomenal, odds-on-favorite horse can’t win!”) that are made during silly press conference sequences that add nothing but faux tension to the story.

One of the main problems with "Secretariat" is that while the story is indeed sensational (the horse was the first Triple Crown winner in 25 years), it hardly makes for an inspiring film. Inspirational dramas are usually told from the point-of-view of the underdogs, like in the case of "Rocky" or "Seabiscuit" or from the perspective of people who find hope in desolation ("Schindler's List," "Apollo 13," "The Shawshank Redemption"). "Secretariat" is not the story of an underdog, but of a horse that was the dominating force in horse racing in 1973. This is a horse that not only won the Triple Crown, the Super Bowl of horse racing, but won it by devastating the competition in world record time. In fact, he won his final race, the notoriously rough Belmont Stakes, by 31 lengths! So while this race is portrayed pretty well in the movie, it feels very anti-climactic because there’s no tension to it.

With that issue in mind, Wallace and Rich shift much of the focus off the titular character to his owner, Penny Chenery and her battle to “overcome the odds.” Unfortunately, that too is handled very mezzo-mezzo. Lucky for Wallace and Rich, Disney hired Diane Lane for the role. I’ve always enjoyed Lane as an actress (and naturally, as a gorgeous woman) even if she tends to waste her talents in sub-par romantic drivel like "Must Love Dogs" and "Nights in Rodanthe." "Secretariat" is easily her best opportunity to shine in a long time and she nails it. Although the role stinks of Oscar-bait like what Sandra Bullock did last year with "The Blind Side," she’s the reason why I didn’t die of boredom watching this flick.  Malkovich too, is interesting as the flamboyant Lucien although I feel he was shafted with too little screen time. He’s better served in the upcoming action-comedy "Red." The rest of the cast merely function as window dressing in the Diane Lane show and none make much of an impact (notably "True Blood’s" Nelsan Ellis who is completely wasted in a stereotypical gospel-spouting African American role).

BOTTOM LINE: "Secretariat" is a sub-par drama that details the story of one of the most dazzling athletes of the 20th century. While it does feature some good racing sequences and excellent production values (to be expected from a prestige fall drama such as this), director Randall Wallace and screenwriter Mike Rich fail to give the movie a strong sense of tension and heart. As a result, "Secretariat"is never able to leap-frog from the mediocre boat and become something truly inspirational, despite the best efforts of Diane Lane, who delivers a very strong performance. Long story short… this definitely ain’t "Seabiscuit"!

GRADE: C+

SECRETARIAT
Directed by: Randall Wallace
Written by: Mike Rich
Starring: Diane Lane, John Malkovich, Margo Martindale, Dylan Walsh
Rated: PG (for brief mild language.)

"Secretariat" is now playing at all major movie theaters in North America. Click HERE for showtimes.